Motherhood. Friday February 21, 2014.

This blog post is a really special one. 

It was written by a young Catholic mother who has a vital message to share. 

This message is for mothers. 

But not only for mothers. 

This one will speak to the hearts of anyone who has ever wondered, 

"Am I doing enough? Am I enough?"  

Please read and share this incredible message if you feel so called.

            Motherhood. I struggle with it every day. Additionally, I am going through a difficult time. I am struggling with my mental health. I ask myself constantly, “Am I doing enough? Am I enough?” I worry about the future. Should I homeschool or should I send my children to school? What will my children become and how will my shortcomings impact them? Motherhood is the most daunting thing I have ever undertaken. But here I am, the mother of three children under the age of five, and learning as I go. I keep asking Mary to guide me because I constantly feel like I do not know what I am doing.

            I am a stay at home mom. Some days I ask myself, “What have I done today!?” My house is a mess, dinner is a mystery, and I surely went over budget when I took my weekly trip to the grocery store. But there are hidden treasures stored up in the three little people I am spending all my time and love on. On their faces I see love. I see Christ in their sweet smiles, a warm hug, or a tender moment.

Tonight, after beating myself up all day about what I have or haven’t done right, something very special happened. I prayed a rosary with my 4 year old son. My husband had fallen asleep. He worked hard all day and hit a wall. Normally my husband and I pray “family rosary” while my four year old plays quietly. The little ones are often asleep. Tonight, my husband was fast asleep and I did not want to disturb him in his exhaustion. So, I explained to my son how to use the beads and say the prayers with mommy. He said every prayer. My heart melted as I listened to him respond to the prayers I was leading. For that little half hour window I stopped worrying about the future. I stopped beating myself up about what I did or did not get done. I enjoyed God’s grace in the present moment. I listened to my child pray and thought, “Thank you, Mary that I get to be a mother.” I felt hope surge in my heart. Maybe I have done something right. Maybe things are going to be okay. Mary is hearing my every prayer and not allowing any of this suffering to go to waste. My little ones are picking up on some very good stuff too, not just my mistakes. Jesus, I trust in you.